Wide Awake

It's 3:30am and I'm wide awake. Maybe it's because I slept for over 12 hours last night, maybe it's because I've been reading a great book for the last two hours, maybe it's because my thoughts are too heavy to let my mind float off to sleep, maybe it's because all of the above. Whatever the reason, I lie here awake in my bed in a cocoon of warmth and I miss you and I hate waiting. I wait til we chat next on MSN. I wait til the next time you call me. I wait til I can see you again, hold your hand and exist in the circle of your arms. I wait til I can stop holding my breath and start my life. I wait til I figure out what I wanna do with that life. I wait, in my bed, at 3:30am, and I miss you.

I won't list all the things I miss, because I've done that before and I'm sure I'll do it again. I won't tell you why I miss them, for the above reasons and because you already know. I won't whine, because I have and will again. I will say simply that I miss you, and know that that's enough.

I've cried a lot, and I will cry more. I've hurt, I hurt, and I will hurt. It sucks now, and it will suck a lot more before it's over. But life is what it is. I have loved, love, and will love you, and for me that is enough.

I love you, and for me that is enough.