I've come to a point where I'm rather fed up with my indecision. After working hard and studying for two years, I now sit inactive and out of practise as I have been for the last six months. If my dream were truly my dream, would I not be pushing every day to achieve it? Dreams are supposed to be a wonderful thing you hope and strive to achieve. I have everything I need to start working my way towards my dream, except evidently the willpower to start.
Is this because I'm scared of failure? An easy answer, a simple way to explain it all. Or is it because I chose my dream out of a desire for glamour, fame, and fortune? And because my dream is based on superficial craving, now that it comes to hard work and perserverance, my passion falters. It was fun in highschool and college, the community and support and understanding is amazing, but now I'm in the real world and I have to be realistic about myself.
But is all this merely an easy way for me to back out? Is it really just simple fear of failure that is causing my inactivity, and I'm simply making up all these more complex issues to mask my fear? If I decide to let my dreams go, will I live the rest of my life in regret for not pursuing them? If I do pursue them, will I regret later the choice to follow something I don't truly want?
I have to find the answers within myself, and soon for my own sanity. Unfortunately, my inner answer-giver seems to be rather silent on the subject.
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